Paroxysm
by Lost to the Hoping
Summary: ."Who would I choose?" ZeroxYuukixKaname Cannon


**Paroxysm**  
**Fandom: Vampire Knight**  
**Characters: ZeroxYuukixKaname (heavily implied)**  
**Description: "Who would I choose?"**  
**Rating: T**  
**A/N: For Lexicarga, as a gift for LAST year's Christmas holiday. Sorry I am SO late, but I hope you like it. I tried to keep to your specifications as closely as possible. ^^ Also, thanks so much to dreamerzlove for the banner ( ****i708. photobucket. com/albums/ ww83/dreamerzlove /Sigs/ZERO2-1. jpg**** ) and for helping me find the plot! I wouldn't have been able to do this if not for you! **

xXx

Zero stared up at the sky. Beside him was Yuuki, her fingers intertwined with his. It was pitch black, save for the light from the stars. "They're so beautiful!" she said, a happy smile on her face.

"Yeah," he agreed, looking at her rather than the stars. "Beautiful."

Yuuki looked back at him, still smiling. "I love you, Zero. I always have," she whispered, still smiling peacefully.

"... I love you too," he admitted hesitantly. He was giving a piece of himself up, baring it for her to see.

"I'm hungry," she said.

His brow wrinkled in confusion, but he nodded. "Okay, we can go back home and get some food."

"No... I'm _really_ hungry..." She leaned toward him, lips parting. Fangs protruded from her mouth... "Zero... I'm _so_ hungry..."

"Yuuki."

She stopped, inches away from Zero's throat, and turned. "Kaname sempai..."

The pureblood smiled down at her and held out a hand. "I can quench your thirst... let me take your pain away."

"Yes, Kaname sempai." She rose, taking his hand, and stepped up to him. "Sempai... I love you..."

He smiled down at her, a hand caressing her face. He kissed her gently on the lips, eyes lifting to meet Zero's in silent challenge. That gaze seemed to say 'she's mine, you can't have her'. Zero couldn't have her.

_Can't have her...? Fight for her... You've claimed her..._

"No!" he cried, struggling to get up. But something kept him from moving, as if he wasn't in control of his own body. A weight on his shoulders... She was there, fangs in his throat, hands pressing him down, keeping him still.

And then she was gone, taken away by that monster, that beast that had made her into a vampire. He made her into a blood-sucking demon.

Like Zero.

Suddenly, he was able to stand again. He surged to his feet and started running down the road, through the streets. There were cobwebs and pained screams but they fell on deaf ears because only Yuuki mattered and only he could save her from her fate. Oh, only he could. He had to save her... had to protect her from that blood-sucking monster...

Branches tore at his arms and legs, at his uniform, trying to halt his descent down the shadowy hill- he stopped and stared at the tombstone to his left. _Here lies Cross Yuuki... here lies me._

"NO!"

He spun away and started running again. Running, trying to find it... find a cure, a way... a way to save her...

_**Zero?**_

But who would he really save? Once he had this cure, would he save Yuuki? Or would he undo the damage to himself? The beast within him could be gone forever...

He dashed into mist, his feet stopped moving. He couldn't move anywhere. He stood in _his_ room. In _Kaname_'s room. She was here, sitting in Kaname's lap, straddling him on the bed... Zero made a soft sound of disbelief, unable to comprehend what he was seeing.

Yuuki turned her head, peering at him from the corner of her eye. She smiled, blood dripping from glimmering fangs. Kaname was grinning victoriously at Zero, knowing that he had already won.

_Bastard!_

Zero wanted to reach out and grab her, snatch her away and hide her where Kaname would never find her. Kaname would never be able to harm her, to dirty her anymore... he wouldn't let him. He'd kill him if he tried...

"_Yuuukiiii!_"

"Zero..." She pushed against Kaname's chest, climbed down from her perch. Her hand reached out for him... "Zero... please... I'm _so_ hungry..."

_**Zero? It's okay...**_

"Not okay..." He stepped back, horrified. _Who would I save? Me or her? Would I save her from this? From what she's become? Or would I..._

"Let her feed, Zero. Let her take your blood," Kaname murmured, smirking smugly.

_Has he truly won?_

Zero lifted his hand, his gun. He aimed it at Kaname. "MURDERER!"

_BANG! BANG!_

"... Zero?" She stood there, bleeding. He'd killed her. Killed her... he killed her... She was dropping to her knees, Kaname was staring at him furiously... Zero killed her...

_**Zero... hey, it's okay...**_

"No... _no_! YUUKIIII!" Zero screamed, reaching out as if he could do something. As if he could save her, bring her back to life...

"Murderer!" Kaname accused, advancing.

Zero backed away, backed into a tree. The bark bit into his bare shoulders... Kaname's fingers closed around his throat. "Murderer!"

Zero shoved him away and darted off, ran and ran... down the slope, down down downdowndown... Running so far away...

He stumbled, fell... He couldn't... killed her... he killed her...

_I killed her... Yuuki... killed her..._

His fingers fumbled for his gun... he lifted it... pressed it against his chin...

_**Zero... I'm okay... I'm here... Wake-**_

... pulled the trigger...

**BANG**

xXx

"YUUKI!"

"Zero?"

He was sitting straight up in his bed, a hand loosely clasping his throat. Yuuki was kneeling on the edge of his bed, a tiny hand on his shoulder. Her eyes were wide with concern. "Zero? Are you okay? You were having a nightmare... I tried to wake you up... But you..."

He grabbed her and dragged her close, inhaling her scent frantically. "Yuuki... you're here... you're okay..."

She relaxed and hugged him back, smiling against his shoulder. "I'm okay, Zero. I already said that. Didn't you hear me?"

"No," he whispered, clutching her tightly. "No. No. You're here..."

"I'm here," she replied, hand smoothing his hair comfortingly. "Don't worry. I'm always here."

So was his hunger... his inner monster... "Yuuki," he breathed, and he was _so_ hungry...

"I would have chosen you."

xXx

**omg, Lexicarga, you better love me. This was such a pain in the ass to write. I LOVE it. XD You know that the harder something is, once you complete it to your satisfaction, it's amazing and much loved, right? ... not that I EVER want to struggle like that again, of course.**


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